How not to quarrel with your partner on vacation, a psychologist explained

About 60% of couples argue more on vacation than they do at home. To avoid this, a pre-vacation agreement technique is needed.

This was explained to gazeta.ru by psychologist Elena Shpagina, associate professor at the Department of Humanities and Social Sciences at the Institute of Management Technologies, RTU MIREA.

"At home, each partner has their own familiar roles and refuges. One goes to work, another takes care of the children, another retreats to their study. These invisible boundaries reduce friction. On vacation, however, these buffers disappear. You find yourselves in a confined space 24/7, and with every joint decision — where to go, what to eat, what time to get up — irritation begins to build up. On top of that, both partners often arrive with inflated expectations of an ideal vacation, and any discrepancy between reality and the picture in their head gets attributed to the other person. They suggested the wrong thing, smiled the wrong way, didn't want to have fun enough," Shpagina explained.

To avoid this, a pre-vacation agreement technique is needed. Even before you buy the tickets, sit down and honestly discuss four key things.

"First — the budget. Who spends how much, who pays for dinner, whether souvenirs can be bought without consulting the other. Financial conflicts on vacation arise suddenly and destroy the mood instantly. Second — the daily schedule. One person wants to sleep until noon, the other wants to catch the sunrise. If this isn't discussed in advance, one person will feel like a hostage to the other the entire trip. Third, and perhaps the most important — the right to solitude. Every person needs time to be alone, even on the most romantic trip. Agree in advance that a couple of hours a day when each person does their own thing — reading, walking, scrolling on their phone — is not rejection but a normal need. And fourth — each person's sacred activities. If one person's essential ritual is morning coffee on the balcony, and the other's is an evening swim, then these rituals must not be disrupted — they are a personal recharging battery," the psychologist noted.

Another important point is the distribution of responsibilities. Decide in advance who is in charge of logistics, who chooses restaurants, and who handles the first-aid kit. When everyone knows their area of responsibility, there are fewer reasons for complaints. Psychological preparation for a vacation is more important than packing a suitcase. Spend an hour talking before the trip — and save yourself a week of stress during it.