Scientists revealed the reason for failures in finding a partner

People who go on dates without understanding what kind of relationship they want to build, more often feel lonely and are less likely to be satisfied with their lives. This conclusion was reached by researchers from McGill University. The study is published in the journal Personal Relationships (PR).

Scientists studied data from more than 360 young people who were actively dating and meeting. In both studies, three indicators were assessed: the level of loneliness, life satisfaction, and the so-called "relationship clarity" - how well a person understands exactly what they want from a potential partner. This term was proposed by psychologist Dita Kubin, co-author of the work.

In the first study, participants simply filled out questionnaires evaluating their current dates. In the second, they were observed for two months. This approach made it possible to understand: the cause, in all likelihood, is precisely the lack of clarity, not the other way around.

"Repeated measurements showed that the lack of clarity regarding goals actually precedes the increase in loneliness, and is not born from it," explained the lead author of the work, graduate student Katya Kredl.

According to researchers, there are several possible explanations. People with low "relationship clarity" are more likely to agree to meetings with unsuitable partners, which leads to disappointment and a feeling of emptiness. In addition, in situations of uncertainty, they tend to perceive neutral signals as rejection, which intensifies the feeling of loneliness.

Scientists also compared "relationship clarity" with other psychological characteristics, such as satisfaction with life in solitude, and found that this indicator describes a new, previously unrecorded area.

According to Canadian and American surveys, about half of the residents of these countries have regularly experienced loneliness in recent years. It is associated with increased risks of depression, anxiety, chronic diseases, and a decrease in quality of life.

Romantic relationships often serve as a key source of social support, and their absence affects most strongly those who already feel lonely.

The authors of the work hope that understanding one's own needs will help people improve their quality of life and reduce levels of loneliness. Now the team plans to develop a methodology that will help people more clearly formulate their goals in relationships.