Scientists revealed a simple secret to finding true love

People who start looking for romantic relationships out of a desire for genuine closeness, rather than societal pressure or fear of being alone, are more likely to find a partner. This conclusion was reached by psychologists from the University of Toronto. The work is published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (PSPB).

Researchers created a new scale to measure why people seek relationships in the first place. It turned out that not everyone wants to find love for the same reasons - some dream of intimacy and living together, while others feel that it's "time" or "necessary." The study was based on self-determination theory, according to which motivations are divided into internal (genuine interest, alignment with values) and external (pressure, fear, desire for self-affirmation).

More than 1,200 single people completed a survey in which they evaluated their own reasons for seeking a partner. It was found that people with internal motivation were more often self-confident, care-oriented, and more interested in serious relationships. Those who sought relationships due to fear of being alone or to feel "normal" more often experienced anxious attachment and insecurity.

The scientists then observed 3,000 single people aged 18 to 39 over the course of six months. Those who began their search for relationships to create a family were indeed more likely to be in a couple after six months. However, those who sought relationships to "not feel like a failure" or for social approval had fewer chances of success.

The authors emphasize: social pressure or fear of loneliness, as it turned out, do not make us more successful in finding love. But an honest desire to be with someone for the purpose of building a future together is the best helper in this matter.