The main sign that love has faded has been identified

Love or just a habit? Psychologist explained how to recognize emotional inertia in relationships

Sometimes couples live together for years, but there are no real feelings between them anymore. They are united not by love, but by convenience, habit, and fear of change - like roommates or siblings. Psychologist Stanislav Sambursky talked about this in an interview with Gazeta.ru.

"Habit is not passion or tenderness. It's predictability. The brain simply doesn't want to spend energy on restructuring the scenario: coffee, breakfast, 'how was your day,'" he explains. "And if there is no living emotional core behind this pattern, the relationship becomes suffocating."

Psychologists call this phenomenon emotional inertia - when relationships continue not because of feelings, but because it's easier. It's difficult for a person to ask themselves: "Where are we actually going?"

A common misconception: love should be spectacular. But the hormonal surge eventually fades, and in its place remains a "romantic fire" that can either warm or turn into cooling embers.

"Female clients often say: 'My husband doesn't drink, doesn't yell, brings money home. But we live like roommates.' They're afraid to leave, thinking that 'it's like this for everyone.' But this is not normal," Sambursky emphasizes.

He offers a simple test: imagine your partner left for a month or a year. What do you feel? Relief, longing, joy of freedom? The answer will tell you a lot.

The main reason why people stay in such relationships is the illusion of safety: "He's not a bad person," "So everything is fine." But "not a bad person" is not synonymous with love.

The psychologist also mentioned cognitive dissonance - when you understand that you don't love, but continue to make plans because "there's nothing to complain about" or you're afraid of being alone.

"It's important not to keep silent, but to talk. Sometimes feelings fade not because of love, but because you've lost yourself - burned out, got tired, overloaded. Listen to your body: if you can't breathe around your partner - that's a warning sign. Don't be afraid of honest questions and, if necessary, seek support: consultations, groups, a space where you can recover," Sambursky advises.